i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize