Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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