i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Panties = found
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
