champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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