My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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