I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You were trust falling into bushes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
