I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
