Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
