He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize