We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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