Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
