how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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