Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
