Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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