dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
