well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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