oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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