Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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