This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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