Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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