i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize