I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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