so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
