yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
