I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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