Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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