ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
