His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Damn victory sex feels great
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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