I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
