I feel like I'm in dance class right now
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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