You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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