What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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