Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
