Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
