i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
