I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
