i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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