Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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