I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
