I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
