You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
