why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
