Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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