Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
More tranny stories later!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
