Its about making memories worth repressing
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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