I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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