ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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