he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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