Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
