went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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