did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
