she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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