She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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