So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
