Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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