the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
