We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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