Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
