I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize