a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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