dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
