I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The uberlube is also flammable
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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