I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
