Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
