end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
