Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
