Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your penis caused this!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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