Rock
Scissors
Fuck
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
