Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize