so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
