i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
