so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
