Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Randomize
