Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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