So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize