He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
But break dance skills will only take you so far
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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