Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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