You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
