Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
