I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
