Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
